


my love for you grows stronger when we are apart

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Because they can and should be allowed to, Canonical Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fives needs a hug, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Here for the pain, Hurt/Comfort, I cried writing this, I read too much angst last night, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Men Crying, Overdosing, Post The Citadel, Rex gives hugs, Rex is a hugger, and the feels, fight me, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:53:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23752660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Fives isn't dealing well since losing Echo. Rex may be a little late, but he's here now.
Relationships: CT-21-0408 | Echo & CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555, CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555 & CT-7567 | Rex
Comments: 17
Kudos: 98





	my love for you grows stronger when we are apart

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [eternal](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23694475) by [orphan_account](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account). 



> This work was inspired by my spectacularly questionable decision to front load on angst fic last night, including the incredibly painful but beautifully written 'eternal' by starkiller2187. 
> 
> _And its hard, i know,  
>  it dont feel right when we are apart  
> But we will grow taller together  
> I'll be known by the strength of your heart  
> For my love for you grows stronger when we are apart_
> 
> _\- Forever Ago by Woodlock_

When Fives woke up it was to the dimmed lights of the GAR infirmary on Coruscant, quiet except for the distant sound of a respirator and a few recovering _vod_ snoring.

He blinked, adjusting to the dim lighting, and swung his eyes from one side of the darkness around his cot to the other and froze.

Captain Rex was in a chair beside his bed, dressed only in the bottom half of his blacks, Fives spied the rest of his armor stacked neatly on the floor beside him. So he hadn’t been back to the barracks that night.

“Captain?” He asked quietly, cautious of the blank look on the man’s face. He sat with his elbows balance on his knees, hands folded and pressed to his chin as he stared slightly over Fives’ head.

“They found you in an alley on level 1408.” He said, voice rough from lack of use in the previous hours. “Overdose.”

Fives swallowed harshly and glanced down at himself. His left sleeve had been pulled up, exposing the neat row of puncture marks he’d inflicted on himself over the past few months all down the underside of his forearm.

Heat rose in his cheeks and he turned his arm over.

He’d been stupid to go looking for a dealer on an unfamiliar level. He remembered scoring a dose of Spice, his self loathing and better judgment drowned out by the need for a quick upper after another battle fought with no one at his side and a splitting headache that wouldn’t go away until he’d succumbed to the need he’d built within himself.

The dose was gone now, the headache suppressed by Kix’s good stuff in the IV in his opposite arm, leaving only the self-loathing he’d been running from in the first place.

Fives looked up when he felt the Captain’s gaze shift to bore into him, mortified to find tears were gathering around the edges of his gaze.

“Captain, I…” He began in a broken whisper, only to swallow thickly around the rest of his excuse. He didn’t have one this time.

Rex stared at him, face impassive. “I wish you would have come to me.”

Fives blinked carefully but a tear still escaped and trailed slowly down his cheek.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, biting his lip when it started to tremble. “I didn’t know what else to do.” He held his breath a moment to calm down the sob that was pushing up his throat and let out a slow, shaky breath. The Captain just kept staring at him with that same blank stare. Fives had _disappointed_ him.

“I don’t have an excuse.” Fives said finally, desperate to break the heavy silence. His breath came a little more under control even as the tears became more insistent. “I just…I miss him so much I don’t know what to do with it. At least with the Spice I could think. Even sleep sometimes.”

Unable to bear the look on his Captain's face any longer, Fives let his eyes fall shut and curled his arm toward himself, hunching his shoulders. He hated this. He didn’t want to be here. He wanted to disappear. Why didn’t they just leave him in that alley? Why couldn’t they just let him go be with Echo?

He felt his bed dip and heat that could only come from a brother pressed along his thigh. He bit his lip again as gentle, calloused thumbs brushed at the tears on his cheeks before one large hand settled at the juncture where his shoulder met his neck, squeezing just tightly enough to tether his spinning mind.

“They taught us how to fight in his war,” the Captain rasped, his voice so quiet and gentle it _burned_ in Fives’ chest. “No one ever thought to teach us how to live with it.”

He opened his eyes and looked up at the Captain, surprised to see tears standing in the other man's eyes too, a sad little twist to his mouth.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you the way I should have been, _vod’ika_.” He pursed his lips and squeezed Five’s neck with one hand, rubbing the other through his hair before bringing them both up to cup his face. Fives let himself be pulled slightly forward and closed his eyes when he felt the soft, reassuring pressure of the Captain’s forehead pressed to his own.

“You won’t go through this alone anymore, I promise.”

Fives started to shake, his head moving just slightly against Rex’s own and he pressed his lips hard together, holding his breath against the building pressure in his throat.

“I promise I'm here.”

It was then that the last of Fives’ control broke and the sob he’d been trying so valiantly to keep at bay broke free. His lungs strained and his head was spinning and his heart was pounding and he can’t _do this_. Everything hurts. Nothing makes sense anymore. Without Echo Fives was never sure where to stand in a crowd _(his place had always been beside Echo)_ and he doesn’t know the role to play on missions ( _all his best maneuvers call for two men and it’s never worked with anyone else)_.

He doesn’t know how to sleep without Echo by his side, can’t remember how to breathe.

“I’m here. I’m here.” The Captain’s voice was a mantra leading him back to the present. “I know I’m not him, but I’m here.”

Fives realized at some point the Captain had shifted until Fives was almost in his lap and he’d pressed in along his body, as much of his Captain’s warmth pressed against him as he could manage. Fives' face was pressed to the chest of his Captain’s blacks, soaking them; his hands were fisted in the elastic material with such force he could feel his fingernails bending backwards.

How long had he been like this? Time didn’t pass like it used to when Echo was there to keep track of it.

“Sir?” His voice was an unrecognizable squeak, “I don’t…I can’t…”

“You can,” the Captain emphasized it with a tight squeeze that cut of Fives’ air for just half a second, and made him feel real and the next breath cam a bit easier. “I’ll help you. I’m here and I’ll help you.”

Fives swallowed whatever he’d been about to say and just nodded. He didn’t know what the future held, but he trusted his Captain. Trusted him like he’d only ever trusted one other _vod_ in his life.

If the Captain said he could do it, then…he could. He would at least try. It’s what Echo would do.

And Fives never knew a better _vod_ , a better soldier, than Echo.

**Author's Note:**

> Comment if you like, thanks!


End file.
